I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
