Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
