Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
so explain again why im purple
no
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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