he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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