I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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