I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
