I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize