I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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