I got chris browned last night
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
