Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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