the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
