And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
