Sponge bath it is.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
