he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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