The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
