I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
