i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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