chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
