Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
