i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
