I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
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I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
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Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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