I seem to have left my pride at pride
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
