if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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