there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
