then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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