Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
