i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
