I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
