OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
