I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
