I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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