I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
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