I need help removing her.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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