Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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