The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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