end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
