look no pants
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
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