I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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