i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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