I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
These tits shall not be calmed
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
