How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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