Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize