Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
