its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
