so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
