garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
porn star boner night. come get it.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
