quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It's official drugs can't kill me
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
