I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
