i don't like sucking hair
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
True strength comes from lack of pants
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
