i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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