fuck your aforementioned shoe
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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