Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
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Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
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And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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