so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
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