I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
